Hello! It is 1969, and my wonderful husband has bought me a Honeywell Kitchen Computer to help me with my cooking! It is a $10,000+ status symbol from the Nieman Marcus catalog. It will replace my unwieldy and difficult to use recipe box. How I love my Kitchen Computer! And my husband!
The Kitchen Computer is both stylish and functional. See its sleek lines, bright red accents, and handy built-in counter top? It matches my dress! And my lipstick!
When I was dusting, I noticed that all that messy electronic stuff is safely hidden away inside the pedestal. How tidy! No one wants a naked H316 in their kitchen - that would be unsanitary! Here is a view of the air vent underneath.
Now, how do I use my wonderful new Kitchen Computer? Gosh, let me see... It looks like I have about 30 little switches, with helpful labels like "SENSE" and "REGISTER" and "P/Y". Oh, I like this one, it says "FETCH". What happens when I push that? Oh, look, 16 little lights are flashing on and off behind that pane of dark glass! They look like little Christmas lights! That's wonderful, but how do I read the recipes?
Let me read the brochure. Oh, it looks like I need to take a class to learn how to use the wonderful Kitchen Computer... a two week long class?!? I have to cook dinner for my husband every night; how am I going to take two weeks off for a class? And in this class I will... learn how to read the recipes in binary using the little flashing lights? What???
What a piece of junk! What idiot thought this was a good idea? I hate my Kitchen Computer! I hate my husband! I'm going to divorce him and go get a job designing computers that don't suck!
Copyright Valerie Aurora | Back to main page